I attended the launch of It Matters A Lot by author and bureaucrat Shubhra Saxena on October 16, 2026, at the India Habitat Centre in New Delhi. Published by Rupa Publications, the book features a foreword by the Dalai Lama and explores self-awareness, conscious choices and what makes life meaningful. The event brought together personalities from literature, diplomacy, academia, healthcare and public service, including Gurcharan Das, Pavan K. Verma, Prof. Kusum Lata Kedia, Abha Sharma and Dr Shweta Mathur Lall. The discussions reflected the book’s call to pause and reconsider our beliefs, relationships and ambitions. At a time when success is often measured through professional achievements and social recognition, It Matters A Lot asks whether we are living by our own values or following others’ expectations. Spanning life stages from childhood to old age, the book examines how upbringing, relationships, social conditioning and life experiences shape our perspectives. Rather than offering a formula for happiness, Saxena encourages readers to question their assumptions and discover what gives their lives meaning. Here are five important lessons from It Matters A Lot that encourage readers to reflect on their lives and embrace conscious living. 5 Lessons from It Matters A Lot by Shubhra Saxena 1. Question what success means to you Success is often defined by society through career progression, financial security, recognition and status. While these achievements can be meaningful, they do not necessarily guarantee contentment. It Matters A Lot encourages readers to examine whether their ambitions reflect their genuine desires or the expectations of family, peers and society. The pursuit of conventional milestones can become automatic when we rarely question why we want them in the first place. The lesson is to develop a personal understanding of success. Instead of measuring your life entirely against someone else's achievements, consider what gives you a sense of purpose, fulfilment and peace. 2. Understand how your past shapes you Our understanding of ourselves begins forming long before we can consciously evaluate our beliefs. Childhood experiences, family relationships, parental expectations and social norms influence how we approach relationships, handle challenges and perceive our own worth. These influences can remain with us well into adulthood, sometimes shaping our decisions without our awareness. Saxena's exploration of life's different stages invites readers to look back at these formative experiences and consider their continuing influence. Recognising the origins of our beliefs does not mean blaming our past. It means understanding which patterns serve us and which may need to change. Self-awareness begins when we learn to distinguish between what we have inherited and what we consciously choose to believe. 3. Make choices instead of following expectations From education and careers to relationships and family responsibilities, life presents countless decisions shaped by social expectations. It can be difficult to distinguish our own preferences from the pressure to meet other people's standards. The book encourages readers to question whether their choices reflect their values or a desire for acceptance and approval. Living consciously does not mean rejecting every expectation or disregarding the people around us. It means understanding why we make particular decisions and taking responsibility for their consequences. Before committing to a goal or making an important decision, ask yourself whether it aligns with the life you want to build. Even small moments of reflection can help you approach life with greater independence and intention. 4. Treat relationships with greater empathy Self-understanding is not limited to personal growth. It can also transform the way we relate to other people. When we become more aware of our own insecurities, emotional responses and assumptions, we may find it easier to recognise that other people have their own struggles, experiences and perspectives. This awareness can reduce unnecessary conflict and encourage more thoughtful communication. It Matters A Lot connects conscious living with empathy, compassion and responsibility towards others. Its broader message is that a meaningful life is not measured solely by individual accomplishments but also by the quality of our relationships and the care we extend to the people around us. Understanding ourselves can become a starting point for understanding others. 5. Accept change and rethink what matters Life rarely unfolds exactly as planned. Ambitions change, relationships evolve, opportunities disappear, and loss becomes part of the human experience. As people move through adulthood, midlife and old age, their priorities may change alongside their circumstances. The book encourages readers to reflect on these transitions rather than remain attached to outdated definitions of success or happiness. Acceptance does not mean giving up on personal growth. It means recognising that some circumstances cannot be controlled and learning to respond to them with greater clarity. As life changes, the things that once seemed essential may become less important, while relationships, inner peace, compassion and a sense of meaning may take on greater significance. Conscious living requires us to keep asking what matters to us now, rather than assuming that yesterday's priorities must define tomorrow. Why it matters a lot is relevant today Modern life leaves little room for reflection, with work, digital distractions and the pressure to achieve more often taking priority over questions of meaning and fulfilment. Saxena’s book encourages readers to examine their habits, assumptions and priorities. Rather than offering quick fixes, it uses questions at the end of each chapter to help readers find insights that reflect their own experiences and values. The book also connects self-awareness with empathy and responsibility towards others, showing how personal reflection can shape our relationships, communities and the way we live. Final thoughts In It Matters A Lot, Shubhra Saxena explores questions of identity, ambition, beliefs and what makes life meaningful. Featuring a foreword by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and published by Rupa Publications, the book encourages readers to reflect on their choices, cultivate self-awareness and practise compassion through different stages of life. At its heart, the book reminds us that living well means looking beyond milestones to understand our purpose, value our relationships and focus on what truly matters.